


social distancing (hardcore version)

by georgbuechner



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Ben is essentially a lumberjack, F/M, Fluff, Jewish Ben Solo, Louis Theroux - Freeform, OH MY GOD THEY WERE IN QUARANTINE, Rey is a gamer, a little bit of misunderstanding, but several thousand miles apart, haha unless?, nah that would never work, this started bc i was like 'what if ben was an asmrtist'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgbuechner/pseuds/georgbuechner
Summary: C'mon, algorithm, Rey thinks, as the results pop up. Give me what I want.In which Rey should probably not trust everything random people tweet at her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45
Collections: REYLO WEEK 2020





	1. he doesn't look like a pigeon, or anything

**Author's Note:**

> written for Day Four of Reylo Week 2020, AU: Modern!  
> i think i may have accidentally written a searing commentary on cancel culture  
> ah well  
> TW for discussion of the alt-right, discussion of anti-semitism, covid-19

It all starts because Rey’s pining for the forest. Which is weird, pining for a place you’ve spent maybe four days in, in your life, but Victoria Park’s shut, and she can’t even go to any of the ones that are still open, since Sadiq Khan is begging everybody to stop using TfL, and she’s not one to let him down. So she’s restricted to her miniature herb garden, and her daily walks to the postbox on the end of the high street, which don’t exactly satisfy her craving for all things green. She tries eating more veggies, but there’s only so many ways you can prepare a kilogram of broccoli before your stomach starts to revolt. So she turns to YouTube, as so often during her short life, and types _nature walk trees_ into the search box. _C’mon, algorithm_ , she thinks, as the results pop up. _Give me what I want_. 

The first result has fifteen million views, which is slightly surprising. It’s called ‘Neature Walk – Episode 1’, and the thumbnail shows a somewhat alarming-looking man in khaki shorts and one of those broad-brimmed hats. Rey clicks on it, just for shits and giggles, and then very quickly clicks out of it again. Nope. Not what she was looking for at all. She likes weird stuff as much as the next person, but not when she desperately needs a nice, relaxing hike through thick forest. Maybe somewhere in America, she thinks. Pure escapism. She’s aware that America has the highest number of deaths, at the moment, that their government’s somehow managing to do a worse job than here, that people of colour are much more likely to die of the virus than white people, that Trump takes _no responsibility_ _for_ – 

She shakes her head vigorously before she follows that spiral all the way down, refocuses on the screen. Point is, she’s aware America is finally revealing itself as the dystopia it always was, right now, but she still wants _space_ , huge green expanses with trees reaching to the sky, and say what you like about the US, it’s definitely big. She might not get to go there any time soon, but a girl can watch YouTube videos and fool herself, can’t she? 

She scrolls down, picks the next video she sees with a vaguely normal-sounding title that doesn’t look like it was grown in a lab. The thumbnail is a lovely view of a mountainside, looks like it stretches for miles and miles, but Rey doesn’t get a good look at it before the video loads. It’s half an hour long, much more manageable than the four-hour 4K ultra-HD whatever she scrolled past. Honestly. She’s not even sure what 4K _is_. 

The first shot’s of the same mountainside in the thumbnail (A+ giving your audience what they clicked for, here), the trees swaying in a gentle breeze. It’s a sunny day, and though it’s been sunny in London too, these past few weeks, like the weather’s laughing at the lockdown, Rey’s heart still aches a bit. It just looks _better_ , there, wherever the cameraperson is. Must be some kind of filter on the lens, or something. Do they make rose-tinted glasses for cameras? Oh, shit, somebody’s talking. 

_Hey, folks_ , a voiceover says, and Rey’s hand shoots out to hit the spacebar. That, she was not expecting. She wasn’t expecting a voiceover at all, actually, but – _that_ voice, in particular. Who gave this person the right to have a voice like that? All deep and rumbly and soft as anything. Rey would like to climb inside this person’s chest and go to sleep there, but that might just be her impending period talking. She hits the spacebar again, about 60% more alert than she was before the voice started talking. She doesn’t really care what it says, at this point. This person could read the phonebook, and she’d be happy. 

She hits _subscribe_ before she even gets to the end of the first video she watches, but in her defence, the guy who does them – _Ben, he/him_ , it says in his YouTube bio, so she knows that much, even if there’s precious little else – has the cutest dog in the entire world, so. He’s also great at filming his walks: he doesn’t talk too much, but whenever a question like _I wonder what that plant is?_ pops into her head, his voice always comes back to answer it. It’s like he can predict what she’s going to think before she thinks it, which is very strange. More likely he just realises what people who aren’t from his area are likely to be confused by or find interesting, so he explains those parts, clearly and succinctly, in that gorgeous voice of his. God, his mic must be amazing.

For the most part, though, it’s just the sounds of the forest, his steady breathing, the tramp of his boots (she knows they’re boots because they come into frame every so often, big sturdy boots that look like they could see him through an apocalypse) in the undergrowth. It soothes Rey in exactly the way she was hoping for, and then some. If she closes her eyes, she can almost imagine she’s there, in a forest somewhere in the US, and not trapped in a third-floor flat in a city of people trapped in their third-floor flats. The audio quality truly is astonishing. 

She’s weirdly emotional by the time Ben’s reached the top of the mountain and is filming the sunset. Maybe it’s the way he says, _Well, that’s everything for today, folks. Hope you liked it, and that you’re keeping safe, wherever in the world you are._ He sounds so _sincere_. Like he genuinely cares that his viewers are safe. Maybe it’s just her hormones. Maybe it’s that _he doesn’t have any ads_ , so she doesn’t have to listen to the apocalyptic government message for the millionth time. God, that takes her back. Remember when YouTube didn’t have ads? Probably an unsustainable business model, which is just a sad commentary on the state of the world, really. But watching that video, it was like stepping back in time. She has autoplay disabled, but she doesn’t mind physically clicking on the next video that YouTube suggests to her, since it’s also one of Ben’s. Doesn’t mind clicking on the next, either. And the next. And the next. 

Somehow, it’s 2am, and Rey’s still watching them. She’s transferred to her bed and her phone, noise-cancelling headphones over her ears, so all she can hear is the rustle of the trees in the wind, a babbling stream, the trilling song of unfamiliar and yet strangely soothing birds. Ben doesn’t talk much, but that just makes it more special when he does. Rey still hasn’t worked out what kind of mic he’s using, how he gets the sound just crisp enough and yet still soft in her ears, like he’s murmuring just to her. She’s checked his bio, all the titles of his videos, but he doesn’t seem to bill himself as an ASMR channel. Surely he must be aware of it, though? There’s a bunch of comments underneath each video talking about _unintentional ASMR_ and how _his voice is sooooo tingly_ and _okay but did anybody else jerk off to this?_ 👀👀 Rey’s weirdly offended by that last one, even though she’s not going to pretend like she doesn’t feel _anything_ in her nether regions, listening to Ben’s voice. Maybe that’s why she’s offended, actually. _Some of us resist our urges. And also, like, keep them to ourselves._

(When she turned into a Puritan, she has no idea. _I saw Goody Proctor masturbating to a stranger’s voice on YouTube._ Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.) 

_Okay, last one,_ she tells herself, stern, but she makes it a good one. The title is _How to Build A Fire_ , and it does what it says on the tin, as do all Ben’s videos, Rey has found. This one has more of his hands in it than previous offerings: he’s finding a suitable fallen tree to chop into firewood, doing the chopping, hauling the logs inside, building the fire, lighting it at the bottom. _Y’all requested more of the crackling fire in the comments on the last video_ , Ben murmurs in her ears, sounding just a little bit wry. _So here you go, I guess._ The last ten minutes are just the fire, dancing and spitting and doing such a good job of hypnotising Rey that when she next opens her eyes, there’s sunlight streaming through her bedroom window. 

_Shit,_ she thinks, and then she thinks: _Well. I have been looking for a new hyperfixation._

–

The bit about the hyperfixation isn’t true, not in the slightest. She usually has at least two or three on the go, and quarantine’s only heightened that tendency. So far, she’s picked up and abandoned: 

  * Duolingo (stupid owl guilt-tripping her into learning how to say _my wife is intelligent_ in Spanish);
  * knitting (she sends her apologies to the sheep whose wool she wasted);
  * Minecraft (one of her patrons offered to buy it for her, just to see what she’d make of it, and luckily wasn’t offended when Rey rage-quit after three hours); 
  * baking (the kitchen ceiling will never be the same again).



So what she means, when she tells Finn and Poe she needs a new hyperfixation on their weekly Houseparty call, is that she needs something she can stick to. And Ben is very easy to stick to. All she has to do is subscribe to his channel and hit the bell, which she has only ever done for three channels in her life. One of them was the official Horrible Histories channel. That’s how serious she is about staying up to date with what Ben’s doing. 

It seems to be the only way she can, as well, because he refuses to mention any socials or link to them in his descriptions. He doesn’t have a Patreon, which is a huge mistake, in Rey’s book. He could be making _bank_ off doing personalised videos for people. Or even just off monetising his regular videos. Maybe it’s not his style. Rey thinks he must be some kind of carpenter, maybe a park ranger; he has this series where he shows you how to make things out of wood, toys and cutlery and even furniture. Rey’s favourite is the one where another member of his family makes an unexpected appearance. 

_Hey, folks,_ Ben’s voiceover says, and then an older, gruffer voice says the same thing, and Ben snorts. _As you can hear, and also see_ – he has the camera set up above his workbench, for this series, and there’s a set of unfamiliar hands next to his big bear paws; the other hands do a little wave upwards – _we’ve got a guest joining us today. My dad’s here. Say hi, Dad._

_Hi, Dad,_ says the other voice.

_Yah, dad jokes are part of the deal, I guess._

_Hey, you knew the risks when you suggested this, kid._

_I did indeed. So, today me and Dad are gonna be making a new bed for Achala, since she’s getting a little big for her old one…_

Rey watches the whole thing (an hour and eighteen minutes, by far Ben’s longest video), and then watches it again, and again. They have a lovely relationship, Ben and his dad. It’s hard to tell these things on camera, obviously, and maybe it’s just Rey’s little orphan heart getting jealous. But the way they rib each other gently, the way they move around each other while they work, even the _kid_ and the answering _old man_ – you can see the love, there, even if you can’t see anything past their elbows, other than the occasional glimpse of the tops of their heads. (Ben’s hair is either black or very dark brown, it’s hard to tell. Dark and thick, anyway. Not that Rey cares what he looks like.) You can’t tell how much they look like each other, but their speech patterns are very similar, and their senses of humour. This video contains the most instances of Ben laughing of all the ones Rey’s watched, which is also a deciding factor in her choice to watch it five times in a row. Not a big one. Obviously. 

God, she’s fucked. 

–

It takes her two weeks to mention Ben on her stream, which she thinks is pretty good, all told. She’s playing Animal Crossing, since it’s all her brain seems to be able to handle at the moment (and she’s not even very good at it; she keeps catching fucking sea bass). She’s just about to call it a night when one of the villagers mentions Brewster, and she’s instantly alert again.

“Brewster! Oh my God, is Brewster gonna come to the island? Guys, is there an update with Brewster?”

The chat informs her that it’s rumoured he’s going to make an appearance soon, and she gets so excited she has to pause the game for a minute.

“Oh my _God_. Guys, this is genuinely the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in weeks. Which, like, okay, we’re in quarantine, but you guys know my life isn’t that exciting anyway, so. Ack, I’m so gassed to chat to Brewster again. I wonder what he’s been up to.”

And then her brain makes a very weird connection, and she snorts before she can stop herself. The chat notices, of course, but she plays it coy for a couple moments. “Hmm? Who made that noise? Maybe it came from outside –? Alright, alright, fine. I was just thinking about – well, it’s kind of dumb, actually.”

The chat’s very supportive and also insistent, so she sighs and girds her loins. “I was just thinking about this YouTuber I just started watching, who’s – well, he kind of reminds me of Brewster, actually. Oh God, he’s gonna hate me for saying that. Nobody tell him. He doesn’t look like a pigeon, or anything. Not that I know what he looks like, he only ever shows his hands and sometimes the top of his head. But, uh.”

God, she’s blushing. Good thing she’s got the lights down low, or she’d be getting roasted to within an inch of her life, right now.

“He just, um. He’s the strong and silent type, you know? Great sense of humour, too. _Very_ cute dog.” Why does she sound like she’s trying to persuade a friend to _date_ Ben? Moving swiftly on.

“More importantly, he doesn’t have that many subscribers, so you guys should go and give him some love, alright? I’ll put a link to his channel in the chat, hang on.” She pins the message, and then unpauses the game, gently shooing all thoughts of attractive carpenters with nice voices out of her head. She has tarantulas to scare Blathers with. 

She doesn’t really think much of it – sure, she has a decent number of followers and subscribers on Twitch, but it’s one thing to watch somebody play a video game and another to follow their advice on YouTube videos. She just wants to help Ben out, a little, because he’s helping her feel a lot more relaxed about the whole global pandemic issue, and he doesn’t appear to be getting anything back from his channel. Which is, you know, noble and all, and he probably has a regular job to keep himself and Achala fed and watered, but still. Rey feels like she owes him something, so nudging a few people in his direction is the least she can do. 

She checks Twitter once the stream’s done – she doesn’t like to be flitting between things while she’s streaming, and the chat provides more than enough secondary stimulation to keep her going for a few hours. She’s in bed by now, just scrolling aimlessly before she taps on her notifications. The first one is an @ from an account she doesn’t recognise; she’s a little wary of reading the tweet, just from past experience of being a quote unquote gamer girl on the interwebs, but curiosity gets the better of her and she taps through, eyes partially hidden behind her duvet. 

That’s – not what she was expecting. 

_@reyofjakku_ _lmaooooo you know that guy’s a neo nazi right?_

No. She did not know that. 

Shit. 


	2. we don’t rly do sincerity over here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing Rey does when she wakes up is google ‘neo nazi’ on her phone, which is not something she really wanted to give Google’s data collection team, but it’s just going to have to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO we are back and still in quarantine my dudes  
> this was meant to be posted yesterday but i'm doing finals so  
> also thank u to everybody who commented nd left kudos!! much appreciated

The first thing Rey does when she wakes up is google _neo nazi_ on her phone, which is not something she really wanted to give Google’s data collection team, but it’s just going to have to happen. This isn’t because she doesn’t know what a neo-Nazi is; she just wants to find the Wikipedia page on them. Specifically, the list of known neo-Nazi and alt-right organisations in the US, which includes their flags and insignia. 

She ends up falling down a disturbing rabbit hole involving clips of a Louis Theroux documentary called _Louis and the Nazis._ It’s difficult to watch, but she learns some important stuff: one, that Louis Theroux is a very brave man, even if he’s done some problematic things since he made the documentary; two, that some people’s children should be taken away from them for the good of society; and three, that there are neo-Nazis in _California_. California. Rey’s very ignorant about America in general, but isn’t California meant to be liberal? Don’t they have more vegan cafés than regular ones, or something? Maybe that was just a joke she saw on Twitter once. But still. Her impression of California, as somebody from London, is not one of neo-Nazism. 

Which begs the question, where is Ben from? He’s mentioned it once or twice, but Rey can’t for the life of her remember it, so she has to go back to his very first video. She would find it cute, if she weren’t balanced on the edge of a cliff of outrage and hurt. She really, really hopes he’s not alt-right. It would feel like a personal betrayal, if he were. 

What if he’s not alt-right, but just _right_? That would almost be worse, she decides, because he might be one of those (presumably) straight white men who love being quote unquote logical about all political matters, because their lack of skin in the game makes them quote unquote impartial. As if anybody’s _impartial_ when it comes to politics. The only people who think they’re impartial are the ones who sincerely believe that a system that benefits them is how it’s meant to be, and can never change so significantly as to impact them. 

Rey would be very, very angry, if Ben were one of those. 

Ah, here we go. _Minnesota_. Rey hasn’t heard of that one, so it’s back to good ol’ Auntie Google. She checks how it voted in the 2016 election first. 

_eleventh consecutive Democratic presidential win in the state_

_has not voted for a Republican since Richard Nixon in 1972_

_highest voter turnout in the nation_

_closest presidential election in Minnesota since 1984_

These are all very promising facts, but Rey’s a little worried by that last one. She scrolls down and finds a map of how all the counties voted, which confuses her no end, because she can’t work out how this sea of red could translate to a win for Clinton, even with that tiny majority. There’s another problem, too: though the brightest red is in the middle of the state map, the top of it is still pretty inflamed. And Ben’s mentioned living “up north” a couple times. Hmm. 

She needs a wider view, so she pulls up a map of how the whole of the US voted in 2016. She still doesn’t get how more people voted for Clinton but Trump still won, but whatever; she’s trying to see what colour the states around Minnesota are. It’s surrounded by red, the closest blue ally Illinois (which was a surprise Democrat win, apparently). Balls. Rey always thought of Canada as further left than America, but it seems the closer you get to the border, the redder you are, at least on the American side. 

Rey clicks back onto Ben’s channel, thinking. How else is she going to be able to tell? She doesn’t want to ask the person who tweeted her, be forced to rely on their information, which could be fake, for all she knows. She wants to find out for herself. His channel introduction has started playing automatically; he says his name, his dog’s name, what he wants to do with the channel and – 

Wait. 

His dog’s name. 

Rey knows Achala’s name already, of course; she’s one of the best things about the channel, in Rey’s book. She runs ahead of Ben in his walking videos and sits by the fire at the end of the how-tos, panting happily. Rey thinks she must be some kind of German Shepherd, or a similar breed: she’s black, with pointy ears, and she looks like she’d come up to about Rey’s mid-thigh. Rey’s getting distracted thinking about how great she is. _Please don’t be a neo-Nazi dog,_ she thinks, as she types _achala name meaning_ into Google. _Please_. 

Obviously, Google can’t tell her whether Achala’s owner is a neo-Nazi. What it can tell her, however, is that Achala means _the immovable one_ in Sanskrit. Rey’s mouth twists up to one side. That’s not particularly helpful, even if she wouldn’t really expect an American neo-Nazi to give his dog a Sanskrit name. She tries again, taps in _achala dog name meaning_ this time, and hits the enter key, crossing the fingers of her other hand. 

There we go. It’s a list of – oh, shit. _Hebrew_ dog names. 

Rey sits straight up in bed, heart pounding like she’s just run a mile. Has she –? No. She hasn’t mistaken a Jewish person for a neo-Nazi. Please. That would be the worst thing in the world. But now she thinks about it – about how Ben mentioned going to his parents’ house for dinner every Friday night, and his first name, and how he said _happy Easter_ and then something she couldn’t quite catch. How he often says things she can’t quite catch, actually, and how she’d assumed that was because of her terrible auditory processing skills, but. It might be in another language, maybe? 

God, why is Rey even doing this? This is stalking, right? Ben clearly doesn’t want anybody knowing about his private life, so why is she trying so desperately to piece it together? _Because you wanted to know if he was a neo-Nazi_ , her brain helpfully supplies. _Yes, thanks,_ Rey says back. _But it turns out he’s actually Jewish, so. And I feel horrible for trying to work that out without him explicitly saying it, because it feels like something somebody who_ was _a neo-Nazi would do, like in the Louis Theroux documentary when that skinhead family were trying to work out if Louis was Jewish so they could kick him off their property._

She’s queasy with guilt, now. That was a horrible thing to do. She feels like she should apologise to Ben, even though he doesn’t even know she did anything. That makes it worse, almost. That nobody knows except her. 

Her phone buzzes, and she looks down at it automatically. It’s a YouTube notification. Ben just posted a new video. _But it’s so late over there_ , she thinks, and then remembers that he gets up at five-thirty, the absolute madman, and it’s just gone noon here, so. She swipes the notification across, opens her phone with her passcode so it can take her straight to the video. It’s just called _Important: Please Watch_ , which is very strange. Normally Ben’s titles tell you more about the video than that. 

Rey gets another shock when the video finishes loading: there’s a man on the screen. He’s sitting in an armchair with his elbows on his knees, looking into the camera very intently. He hasn’t quite got the editing right; there’s a little bit of delay before he starts speaking, enough time for Rey to realise that yes, that is in fact Ben, and for her to think _Shit, he’s hot_ , before he begins. 

_Hey, folks. Sorry for the switch-up, today. You’ll have to deal with this_ – he points at his face in a kind of disparaging way, which has Rey’s _somebody I like is putting themself down_ sense tingling from all the way across an ocean _– a little while longer, I’m afraid. I’ve just got some stuff I wanna share with you, and I wanted y’all to be able to see my face while I do that. Just so you know I’m being honest._

_Now. When I first started this channel, my intention was to not engage with politics at all. But I realise that, being as I am a straight, white, cis, able-bodied man, the world allows me to be apolitical in a way it doesn’t allow women, people of colour, people who are part of the LGBTQ community, disabled people, and religious minorities to be. (I am part of a religious minority, incidentally, but I’m also white-passing. I’m still trying to figure out what that means for my personal privilege, so if anybody could direct me to any resources on that, I’d be grateful.) Not taking part in politics is a privilege, because it means the world is just about fine for you as it is. But I don’t want the world to be fine for just me. I want it to be better for everybody who suffers under any form of oppression, and I want it to be worse for the people who engage in that oppression, or don’t point it out when it happens. Which would have included me, at one time, but we’ll get to that in a later video._

_For now, I just want to make a couple things clear as to what I believe. I don’t know how to do this without it sounding awkward or trite, so y’all are just gonna have to put up with that, I’m afraid._ He takes a deep breath, spreads his hands on his knees. When he next looks up, his eyes are very intense. Like they’re staring directly into Rey’s soul. 

_I’m a feminist,_ is the first thing he says, and Rey pauses the video to pump the air. It feels a little against the spirit of the video, though, so she hits play again, mouthing a quick _sorry_ (as if he can hear her? She’s such a twat). _I’m pro-abortion, pro-free contraception. Pro-women’s right to choose, in pretty much everything. And you bet your ass that includes trans women, ‘cause they’re women too, whether some people like it or not._

_Everybody should have access to free healthcare, no matter who they are. That’s especially relevant now, but it’s_ always _been relevant. The minimum wage should be raised so that people don’t have to work two or three jobs just to feed their families. Billionaires and corporations should pay their fair share of taxes. All buildings and environments should be made equally accessible to abled and disabled people. Gun laws should be tightened until you can’t go into a school and kill kids. Grown white men shouldn’t get away with murdering black boys. I don’t care if they’re cops._

_We live in a society where rape victims are demonised and rapists are lauded, and that’s gotta change, folks. It can’t stay that way. We shouldn’t have to choose between two men accused of sexual assault for president. We shouldn’t have to choose between two men, period, but, y’know._ He shakes his head, the hint of a smile. _Sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself. The point is, you can probably work out from all these things what kind of person I am, and you can affix whatever kind of label you want to that. Just know that they’re true, and I believe them wholeheartedly._

_Now, a lot of these might just sound like empty words, especially ‘cause you might say,_ Ben, you’re not doing anything to deal with all these issues. You’re just sitting there in your armchair, pretending like you’re doing something good. _You might have a point there. But I’m trying to get better. And if any of y’all who feel the same way as I do have any tips on how I can help out the causes I believe in, or how to educate myself further, please let me know._ His voice is very quiet, now. Quiet, but strong. _I want to get better._

_And those of you who don’t agree with me, whether that’s on one point or on all of them: feel free to leave a respectful comment as well, but don’t expect to change my mind. Honestly, I would rather you didn’t watch my stuff if you disagree with the fundamentals I’ve outlined here. I’m not changing my thoughts on abortion, or gun laws, or feminism, or trans people. Not happening. I’m a stubborn bastard, I’m not getting into a debate with you. I don’t owe you anything, and neither do any members of those groups._

He smiles, then, and it’s so surprising that Rey smiles back, reflexively, and also just because – he has a really, _really_ nice smile. _Sorry for the rant. I just… I’ve noticed some things about some people who’ve subscribed lately with maybe the wrong idea of me in their heads. So. Just wanted to set the record straight, I guess. Stay safe out there._ And that’s the end of the video. 

Rey lets her phone drop onto her stomach, her eyes on the ceiling. _Thank fuck he’s not a neo-Nazi,_ is her first thought. But then she wonders. He did seem kind of stilted, like there was somebody behind the camera with a gun pointed at his head. But maybe that’s just how he is when the whole of him has to be on camera? He doesn’t seem to have much faith in his own social skills, judging by other videos. He’d made a joke in one of them about how social distancing hasn’t really changed his daily life, other than not being able to visit his parents. (He leaves food on their porch instead, it’s very cute.) 

But. He said he was part of a religious minority. And _white-passing_. And… Rey doesn’t know how to explain it, but she _knows_ he was telling the truth. She can feel it in her bones. 

She flips back to Twitter, brings up the tweet that random person sent her last night. A couple of people have replied to it, so she scrolls through those. Some are agreeing with the OP, talking about how it’s disgusting that somebody like that is allowed to run a YouTube channel when most of his viewers probably have no idea who he really is. _You don’t either,_ Rey wants to fire back, but she bides her time until she finds something more interesting: 

@limurug aren’t people allowed to grow and change?? smdh 

@limurug he’s JEWISH you fucking idiot, learn to read before you throw around words like that about people whose relatives might’ve been killed by nazis 

@limurug so a white male youtuber who doesn’t discuss politics on his channel must be a nazi?? fuck off 

That last one is problematic, to say the least, because the issue isn’t whether too many people are accusing white male YouTubers of being alt-right. Also, Rey’s pretty sure that a lot of white male YouTubers _are_ alt-right. Or at least, that a lot of white men on the alt-right have YouTube channels. She’s not sure if they count as actual _YouTubers_. Anyway. The first one of that trio, that’s the one that’s intriguing her. Because it implies that Ben _was_ a neo-Nazi, or at least on the alt-right in some way, and has now… changed? Realised the error of his ways? Returned home as a prodigal son? Rey’s speculating is getting even more speculative, here, so she clicks onto the first person’s profile and sends them a quick DM. She’d rather do this as privately as possible. 

_hey, sorry for the message out of the blue but i saw your reply to_ _@limurug ’_ _s tweet calling ben skywalker a neo-nazi, and i was just wondering where you got your info on him maybe having been one at one time? i’m just looking for some details so i can apologise to my followers if i’ve accidentally told them to subscribe to a neo-nazi…_

Then she puts her phone down and goes to have a shower and eat some breakfast, to at least pretend like she’s a functioning member of society. Two hours later and the person still hasn’t replied, so Rey messages the only person she doesn’t feel guilty about asking for comfort from. 

Rose is also an ocean away, in San Diego, but thankfully she gets up at Productive Person Time, if not quite at Crazy Person Time (looking at you, Ben). Her reply comes in a few minutes after Rey’s sent her an edited version of the current situation. 

_okay, first of all, obviously neither of us are jewish so both our perspectives are kinda limited? but i’d say you shouldn’t feel bad for wanting more information after that tweet about him being a neo nazi_

_i’d want more info too_

_like obviously you don’t want to be watching a neo nazi’s vids?? and the way the person phrased it (as like an obvious fact, making fun of you for not knowing about it before, etc) is very accusatory to both ben and you, so your first response wasn’t gonna be a rational one_

_hold up lemme watch this vid you mentioned_

Rey just sends back three hearts (yellow, as always) and waits for Rose to watch the video, kicking her legs. She tries to distract herself on her phone, but she automatically goes to Twitter, and it doesn’t feel like a particularly safe place, right now. Even more unsafe than usual, she means. So she scrolls through a couple of emails instead, her metaphorical ears pricking up when a message from Rose appears at the top of her screen. 

_alright i’m up to speed_

_eagerly awaiting ur thoughts babe_

_i see what you mean about him seeming disingenuous, but to me he actually comes off as v sincere??_

_idk if this is a british/american thing tho_

_it could well be, we don’t rly do sincerity over here_

_lmaoooooooo you can say that again_

_also why would he bother making the vid if he didn’t believe it???_

_you said he hasn’t monetized anything right_

_ye he doesn’t have ads or even any socials from what i’ve seen_

_so like. he’s not even getting any Clout_

_so what does he have to gain from lying?_

_nothing at all_

_exactly_

_okay thank u for confirming im not crazy for believing him,_ Rey types, and then thinks for a second. _my main worry now is sth else tho_

_go on b_

_somebody else mentioned in a reply 2 the original neo nazi tweet that he USED to be ??? something bad? they didn’t specify_

_hmm_

_have messaged asking 4 clarification_

_good plan_

_have you said anything to your followers_

_nah i don’t wanna say anything before i have all the Fax u kno_

_god that’s hot_

_;)_

_also omg how are you im so sorry for ranting @ u about this_

_nooooo rant away!! that’s what im here for b_

_but thank u for asking i am as good as can be in a global pandemic y’know_

_paige and i are rediscovering our love of crafts_

_omg cute_

_send me pics_

_will do_

_also off topic but is his surname actually skywalker???_

_feels unlikely_

_wait i haven’t even googled him_

_might not be anything but worth a try right?_

_knock yourself out_

Rey spends five seconds debating it in her head. Then she grabs her laptop from her bed and types _ben skywalker_ into Google. Honestly, she’s not sure what she’s expecting. 

But it definitely isn’t _that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz i seem incapable of not ending chapters on cliffhangers lmao  
> i'm on tumblr @ insertfandomquotehere if u wanna say hi!!

**Author's Note:**

> suffice to say, that guy is not a neo-nazi


End file.
